HI,MY NAME IS JIM,
I HAVE NOTICED AN INCREASE FROM UNKNOWN WEB VISITORS?????
PERSONALY, I WOULDNT HIDE MY IDENTITY FROM ANYBODY...
IF YOU MUST HIDE YOURS THEN DON'T VISIT MY PAGE. IT IS RUDE AND UNDERHANDED..
FOR ALL I KNOW YOU ARE TRYING TO MAKE A CASE AGAINST ME TO HELP RUIN MY LIFE EVEN MORE... I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE... IF YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT ME THEN JUST ASK.. JUST ASK... JUST ASK.... GET IT?????
I AM NOT REALLY SURE WHERE TO START....
LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS AS PRETTY AS A PICTURE...
I AM NOT REALLY SURE WHAT BROUGHT ME HERE AND FROM THE TESTIMONIALS I HAVE READ, I'M NOT SURE I BELONG HERE..... BUT SOMETHING HAS DRAWN ME HERE SO FOR NOW I AM GOING TO GO WITH THAT...
I AM WHAT SOME PEOPLE WOULD LABEL A DEADBEAT DAD.... NO BEFORE WE GO JUDGING ME LETS PUT THIS INTO PERSPECTIVE...
WHEN I WAS 17 I GOT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE PREGNANT.. TRUTH BE KNOWN I DIDN'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT PREVENTION OR SEX FOR THAT MATTER .. SHE WAS MY FIRST...
MY INTENTIONS WERE GOOD AT FIRST BUT CIRCUMSTANCES LEAD ME ANOTHER DIRECTION.. YOU SEE, WHEN THIS HAPPENED I WAS ALREADY HOMELESS AND HAD BEEN FOR 2 YEARS.. MY MOTHER KICKED ME OUT SHORTLY AFTER I CHALLENGED MY STEP FATHER ABOUT MOLESTING MY SISTER.. NOT REALLY KNOWING IF IT WAS TRUE BUT KNOWING SHE WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT ANYTHING AND HADN'T EVER... I WENT TO BAT FOR HER...
THIS TURNED OUT BADLY FOR ME.... TURNS OUT LATER IN LIFE SHE DIDN'T LIE.... NO MATTER...
I WAS STILL HOMELESS AND WITHOUT ANY HELP AS WELL AS MY SISTER WHO WAS A YEAR YOUNGER...
WE ENDED UP IN A HOMELESS SHELTER... THEY WEREN'T MUCH HELP... WE NEEDED STATE FUNDED HELP AND COULDN'T GET IT WITHOUT EMANCIPATION FROM OUR PARENTS....
MOM WASN'T HAVING ANY PART IN BEING LABELED AS A BAD PARENT SO SHE WOULDN'T COME TO COURT...
BACK TO THE STREETS I WENT.... STAYED IN EMPTY BUILDINGS.... OLD SEWERS ... ROOFTOPS OF BUILDINGS... ATE FROM THE SOUP TRUCK AND VARIOUS CHURCHES THAT OFFERED A FREE MEAL IF YOU STAYED FOR CHURCH BEFORE HAND....
EVENTUALLY I MANAGED TO GET A JOB AT A MCfastfood JOINT.... WASHED UP IN THEIR BATHROOM BEFORE WORK... UNTIL MNGMNT FOUND OUT I HAD NO ADDRESS AND LET ME GO...
2 YEARS HAD PASSED DOING WHAT I HAD TO DO TO GET BY.... AND WHILE I WAS AT A MALL I MET THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD AND WHO I THOUGHT TO BE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE...
WE GOT TOGETHER A FEW TIMES AND BEGAN DATING... ALL THE WHILE I WAS HOMELESS BUT SHE HELPED ME OUT WITH FOOD FROM TIME TO TIME AND EVENTUALLY I WAS ABLE TO GET A JOB AND TOOK SHOWERS AT HER HOUSE 2 TIMES A WEEK WHICH HELPED A-LOT...
I WAS VERY MUCH IN LOVE AND EXPERIENCED MY FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE.... AND SHE GOT PREGNANT THE VERY FIRST TIME...
WE KNEW NOTHING OF PROTECTION AND DIDN'T HAVE PARENTS WHO SPOKE OF SUCH THINGS WITH THEIR CHILDREN AND WERE PETRIFIED WHEN WE FOUND OUT...
WE WENT TO THE WELFARE SYSTEM AND GOT HER SOME HELP FROM THE STATE.. THEY WERE EAGER TO HELP HER BUT HAD NO RESOURCES TO HELP US...
I EVENTUALLY CONVINCED MY MOTHER TO SIGN THE EMANCIPATION 6 MONTHS B4 MY 18TH BIRTHDAY FOR THE SAKE OF HER UNBORN GRANDSON...
THE STATE NEEDED TO HAVE CUSTODIAL PARENTS TO GIVE HER HELP SO WE WENT TO COURT.. I WAS ORDERED TO PAY 36.50 A WEEK IN SUPPORT EVEN THOUGH AT THE TIME I WAS UNEMPLOYED AND HOMELESS...
I WAS GIVEN NO COUNCIL AND SO THAT WAS THAT...
HER MOTHER WHO WAS SINGLE DECIDED SHE WOULD HELP HER BUT I WAS ON MY OWN AND DECIDED IT WOULD BE BEST FOR HER NOT TO SEE ME...
I TRIED TO BE WITH HER BUT IT GOT MORE AND MORE DIFFICULT AS THE WINTER SET IN...
I EVENTUALLY TALKED HER INTO GETTING VOUCHERS FOR LIVING EXPENSES FROM THE STATE AND GETTING AN APARTMENT WITH THEIR HELP... NOT KNOWING THIS WAS ALL GOING ON THE TAB I HAD ALREADY RUN UP IN CHILD SUPPORT FOR LACK OF NOT KNOWING ANY BETTER... I WAS THERE WHEN MY SON WAS BORN AND WE WERE GIVEN A VOUCHER FOR AN APARTMENT SHORTLY AFTER.... IT ONLY LASTED 6 MONTHS... WE HAD A FALLING OUT ABOUT HER LEAVING ME WITH THE BABY WHILE SHE WENT OUT DAY AND NIGHT WITH HER COUSIN DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT..
I LATER FOUND OUT SHE HAD ANOTHER BOYFRIEND, WHO SHE LATER MARRIED AND IS NOW PRESENTLY DIVORCING...
THERE WERE WORDS EXCHANGED AND MUTUAL HAND THROWN WICH LANDED ME IN JAIL LONG ENOUGH FOR HER TO MOVE HERSELF AND MY SON OUT TO A UNDISCLOSED LOCATION...
EVENTUALLY I TALKED HER INTO LETTING ME SEE MY SON... WE WENT FOR A WALK AROUND THE AREA WHERE SHE LIVED AND APPARENTLY I WAS GONE TO LONG ... WHEN I RETURNED HALF THE POLICE FORCE WAS LOOKING FOR A KIDNAPPED CHILD...
THEY ASKED ME INTO AN OFFICE AREA WITH THE CHILD AND HAD A LADY OFFICER TAKE HIM FROM ME WHILE THEY TACKLED ME TO THE FLOOR AND PRECEDED TO BEAT THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME...WHILE THEY HANDCUFFED ME... ALL THE WHILE SCREAMING "YOU LIKE TO BEAT ON GIRLS" "WHY DON'T YOU BEAT ON US YOU LITTLE COWARD" "YOU'LL BE LUCKY TO GET TO JAIL ALIVE YOU LITTLE COWARD" THERE WERE 7 OF THEM AND TO THIS DAY THOSE WORDS HAUNT MY SLEEP...
THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW MY SON ... HE IS 21 NOW AND THE FATHER OF MY GRANDSON..
LUCKILY THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD WE FOUND EACH OTHER THIS YEAR ON MYSPACE OF ALL PLACES.... WE TALK ON THE PHONE BUT STILL HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER AS OF YET... I'M STILL PRAYING...
I WAS ABLE TO RELOCATE TO CALIFORNIA AFTER THAT AND WENT ON AN AMAZING JOURNEY FROM STATE TO STATE , HOMELESS SHELTER TO HOMELESS SHELTER FOR A COUPLE OF MORE YEARS...
HAD SOME JOBS ALONG THE WAY MOSTLY MEDIAL AT BEST ... DAILY WAGES.. ENOUGH TO FEED ME AND ON LUCKY DAYS GET A CHEAP ROOM FOR SHOWERS AND THE OCCASIONAL DAY OF REST..
I DEVELOPED THE ABILITY TO SURVIVE WITH THE OCCASIONAL GIRLFRIEND HERE AND THERE.. SOMETHING I AM NOT PROUD OF BUT I WAS IN SURVIVAL MODE AND THAT SEEMED TO WORK THE BEST...
THIS EVENTUALLY LANDED ME IN A.Z. MY FIRST NIGHT THERE I WENT TO A POOL HALL MET A GIRL AND EVENTUALLY MOVED IN WITH HER..
WE HAD QUITE A FEW THINGS IN COMMON INCLUDING LEAVING HOME EARLY AND HIT IT OFF PRETTY GOOD....
OR SO I THOUGHT....
5 YEARS OF UPS AND DOWNS .... TEACHING HER DAUGHTER HOW TO SPEAK , COUNT,READ AND WRITE AND HAVING 2 ALLEGED KIDS OF OUR OWN ANS ONCE AGAIN LIVING OFF THE SYSTEM TO GET BY.... CONSTRUCTION WASN'T ENOUGH TO PAY ALL OF THE BILLS SO WE ASKED YET AGAIN FOR HELP....
SHE ONLY LET ME PUT MY NAME ON MY DAUGHTER AND LATER IT BECAME CLEAR WHY... ONE WAS MINE AND ONE WASN'T.... DIDNT KNOW THAT TILL I SAW HIS PICTURE 12 YEARS LATER AND I KNEW RIGHT THEN WHO HIS DAD WAS...
SHE WAS ALSO CAUGHT CHEATING... I HAD COME HOME ONE DAY EARLY FROM WORK BECAUSE OF A RAIN STORM AND WHEN I WALKED IN THE DOOR, HER AND HER BOYFRIEND WERE PASSED OUT NAKED ON THE COUCH AND ALL 3 OF THE KIDS WERE SITTING IN FRONT OF THEM WATCHING BARNEY....
THERE WERE 2 CRACK PIPES SOME CRACK AND A POT PIPE AND SOME POT ON THE TABLE IN PLAIN VIEW OF THE KIDS...
I DIDN'T DRINK,SMOKE OR DO DRUGS SO I FLIPPED OUT...
TOOK THE KIDS OUT OF THE HOUSE QUIETLY AND BROUGHT THEM TO THE NEIGHBOR WENT BACK AND GRABBED UP THE NAKED MAN ON THE COUCH AND GAVE HIM WHAT FOR OUT IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE..
@ THAT TIME I HAD A WARRANT FOR FAILURE TO APPEAR FOR DRIVING WITHOUT A LICENSE WHICH WAS SUSPENDED FOR NOT PAYING CHILD SUPPORT .. THIS SERVED AS A CONVENIENT WAY FOR HER TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING THE POLICE INVOLVED SO I CHOSE TO LEAVE HER BE FOR THE TIME BEING..
I HAD ALL OF MY THINGS PUT IN A STORAGE LOCKER ON THE APARTMENT SITE ,INCLUDING THE ONLY PICTURES I HAD OF MY FAMILY AND MY SON... AND I MOVED IN WITH A FRIEND.. THE LOCKER MYSTERIOUSLY WAS BURNED AND I LOST EVERYTHING... SHE MOVED TO MINN. WITH HER NEW BOYFRIEND , CHANGED THE KIDS NAMES AND DISAPPEARED ON ME... THE KIDS WERE 5 HERS 4 THE BOY AND 3 MY DAUGHTER.. I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM SINCE EITHER... NOW 17 AND 16..
THE SUSPENSION WAS A RESULT OF BEING PULLED OVER ON MY WAY TO MY JOB WICH WAS PAYING MY CHILD SUPPORT OUT OF MY CHECKS.. A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM..??? I THINK NOT...
THE STATE IN QUESTION WANTED ME TO GO BACK THERE TO MAKE ARRAIGNMENTS WITH THEM IN PERSON REGARDING ARREARS THAT ENCORED DURING MY HOMELESS TRAVELS...THE CURRENT WAS BEING PAID....
WHAT THEY REALLY WANTED WAS TO PUT ME IN JAIL AND TRAP ME THERE WHERE THEY COULD CONTROL ME....
I HAD ALREADY MADE UP MY MIND TO NOT GO BACK EAST EVER AGAIN SO I REFUSED TO GO AND THEY SUSPENDED ME OUT OF SPITE(ALLEGEDLY OF COURSE).... I AGAIN WAS HOMELESS NO FRIENDS TO HELP AND NO FAMILY....
I MANAGED TO SCRAPE UP ENOUGH TO GET ME TO A FRIEND IN RENO AND TRIED TO START OVER YET AGAIN....
I WAS A KARAOKE HOST THERE FOR A WHILE AND MADE A CLOSE FRIEND THERE .. BUT THAT DANG SUSPENSION BIT ME AGAIN... THIS TIME LANDING ME IN JAIL ...
NOW I HAD TO ANSWER TO 2 SUSPENSIONS AND A NO INSURANCE ON A CAR I BORROWED WICH I THOUGHT WAS COVERED...
ALL OF THIS WAS GOING TO COST ME MONEY I DIDN'T HAVE.. OUT OF FEAR OF BEING PUT BACK IN JAIL I BLEW OFF COURT FOR WORK TRYING TO GET THE MONEY TO BRING TO COURT TO PAY THE FINES...
WRONG ... WAS PULLED OVER YET AGAIN AND JAILED AND GIVEN A WEEK OF TIME SERVED TO CLEAR IT UP... GOD BLESS THAT JUDGE FOR BELIEVING ME....
N.Y. ON THE OTHER HAND WASN'T ABOUT TO LET GO .... ARIZONA EITHER... IT COST ME 5,500.00 DOLLARS TO GET OUT OF ARIZONA TROUBLE AND IT COST ME A TRIP BACK TO N.Y. TO GET THE SUSPENSION LIFTED IN 1997 TO GET MY LICENSE BACK.... ALL THE WHILE STEADILY INCREASING MY ARREARS TO N.Y.
IN 1996 I MET MY EX WIFE ... HOW SHE BECAME MY EX WILL BE CLEAR SHORTLY... I HAD TO LEAVE RENO SO I MOVED TO N.H. WHERE MY FRIEND RELOCATED TO FROM RENO..
WHEN I GOT THERE HE GOT ME A DESCENT JOB WORKING FOR A RENTAL STORE AND THINGS WERE GOING PRETTY GOOD.... STILL HAD NO LICENSE AND WAS DRIVING ILLEGALLY TO MAKE MONEY TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT WHAT I COULD ...
I WAS A PART TIME KARAOKE HOST THERE TO AND WAS WORKING ONE NIGHT AND MET MY WIFE...WE HIT IT OFF RIGHT AWAY AND SHORTLY THERE AFTER I MOVED IN WITH HER AND HER 2 BOYS...WE LIVED TOGETHER FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS AND GOT MARRIED...
ALL THE WHILE I KEPT SOME CONSTRUCTION TYPE JOBS SEASONAL OF COURSE AND WAS A DISC JOCKEY/KARAOKE HOST DURING THE WINTER MONTHS..
HER AND I WENT TO N.Y. TO MAKE ARRANGEMENTS ABOUT SUPPORT AND GOT MY DRIVERS LICENSE REINSTATED AFTER SIGNING A NEW CONTRACT WITH N.Y.
WE WENT BACK TO MASS AND STARTED WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS GOING TO BE A HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER .... SHORTLY THERE AFTER N.Y. CAME AFTER HER FOR MY SUPPORT AND THAT CAUSED US TO DIVORCE... I HAD TO LEAVE AND LIVE ON MY OWN AND PAY THEM TO PROTECT HER...
THE PAYMENT PLAN THEY HAD ME ON WASN'T ENOUGH TO PAY DOWN THE DEBT WHILE THE NEW PAYMENTS BECAME DUE.. YOU SEE IN N.Y. THEY KEEP YOU PAYING TILL THE CHILD IS 21 YEARS OLD... SO ALL ALONG I WASN'T PAYING IT OFF JUST KEEPING IT GOING ....
THERE WAS A LOT OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED DURING MY LIFE WITH MY WIFE THAT KEPT US FROM GETTING ON TOP OF THINGS AND SHE STOOD BY ME THROUGH ALL OF IT...
NEVER ONCE COMPLAINING ABOUT ME NOT HAVING ENOUGH TO HELP OUT THE WHOLE TIME WE WERE TOGETHER... WE ARE STILL TOGETHER TODAY AND SHE LETS ME HAVE A ROOM IN HER HOUSE, DRIVE HER CAR TO WORK, EAT HER FOOD AND EVEN TAKES MONEY OUT OF HER CHECK TO HELP ME WITH GAS FOR WORK WHEN I RUN OUT 6 DAYS BEFORE PAYDAY EVERY 2 WEEKS...
THIS IS A HORRIBLE DRAIN ON HER AND I CAN'T GET EVEN TO HELP HER.....
IT IS STARTING TO WEAR HER OUT AND SHE IS STARTING TO RESENT ME FOR IT... I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I REALLY DO APPRECIATE HER AND WHAT SHE HAS DONE FOR ME BUT I OWE AROUND 40,000 DOLLARS AND HAVE NO CHANCE OF PAYING IT DOWN... I AM 40 NOW AND IN VERY POOR HEALTH... HEART PROBLEMS, VARIOUS LUMPS ON MY BODY I CAN'T AFFORD TO HAVE LOOKED AT, SEVERE BACK PROBLEMS, POSSIBLE DIABETES, AND GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE,.... THE STATE WON'T HELP BECAUSE I MAKE 400 MORE A YEAR THAN THEY ALLOW AND IF I ASK FOR LESS HOURS I WILL TAKE MONEY OUT OF CHILD SUPPORTS POCKET.....GOD FORBID I STOP KILLING MYSELF AND MY EX WIFE TO GET AHEAD...
MY INTENTION---------- PAY THE ARREARS TO N.Y. AND GET THEM OUT OF MY POCKET AND MY LIFE....MY SONS WHOLE LIFE WAS STOLEN FROM ME AND THAT IS A PAIN I WILL CARRY TO THE GRAVE.... I OFTEN CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP EVEN NOW ABOUT IT... IF THEY DON'T GET PAID I MAY NOT EVEN GET TO SEE MY GRANDSON BEFORE I HAVE A HEART ATTACK TRYING TO PAY DOWN THIS IMPOSSIBLE DEBT...
GET BACK TO EVEN------- I WOULD LOVE TO MARRY MY WIFE AGAIN AND LIVE OUR LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER...IF THERE IS SUCH A THING... WITHOUT HER HAVING TO WORK DOUBLES AND SOMETIMES 2 DIFFERENT JOBS JUST TO KEEP ME ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO PAY N.Y.
I DON'T WANT ANY MORE THAN MY DEBT TO N.Y STATE.. THE REST WE CAN MANAGE WITHOUT THEM FREEZING BANK ACCOUNTS RUINING MY CREDIT SCORE , TAKING MY TAX REFUNDS, AND SUSPENDING MY DRIVERS LICENSE WHENEVER MY PAYMENT IS A DAY LATE.... MIND YOU IT'S GARNISHED SO IF IT IS LATE IT IS NO FAULT OF MINE..BUT THEY DON'T CARE THEY HAVE DONE IT SEVERAL TIME LATELY...
THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO SAY BUT BY NOW IT LOOKS LIKE A RANT... EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID HERE TODAY CAN BE VERIFIED AND I AM WILLING TO LET SOMEONE LOOK INTO IT ....
WE JUST WANT TO START OVER BEFORE WE DIE TRYING.....
GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU WHO ARE IN NEED AS WE ARE AND MAY YOU FIND THE ANGEL YOU ARE LOOKING FOR...
ALL OF OUR LOVE.....................JIM AND LAURA...............................
P.S.
I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM OTHER DADS OR MOMS WHO ARE CURRENTLY PAYING SUPPORT BUT ARE SO FAR BEHIND IT IS SWALLOWING THEM WHOLE...... ESPECIALLY THOSE FROM N.Y.S.
PEOPLE LIKE US HAVE NO WAY OUT.... THE SYSTEM PROVIDES SO MUCH HELP FOR THE RECIEVERS BUT NOTHING TO THE PAYERS.... NO LEGAL HELP , NO TAX BREAKS, NO FREE COUNCIL OR ADVICE,
WE HAVE BEEN LABLED AS DEADBEAT.... THATS AS BAD AS DROPPING THE N BOMB OR MAKING A ANTI SEMETIC REMARK ........ IT IS DOWN RIGHT IGNORANT AND PAINFUL.... I DO THE BEST I CAN AND THEY FIND WAYS TO MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO PAY IT OFF SO YOU REMAIN THEIR SLAVE TILL YOU DIE.....
THIS HAS TO STOP.... THE LABELING OF HARD WORKING GOD FEARING PEOPLE HAS TO STOP.......WE DO WHAT WE CAN EVEN WHEN THAT MEANS SLEEPING ON THE STREET... I OWE AND I PAY.... I PAY .... IPAY...... AND YET I STILL SUFFER THE LOSS OF FAMILY... I AM NO ONES DADDY ... NOT BY CHOICE... AND IT HURTS MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW..
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO REALLY DO CARE.... THANK YOU.......
